back to the judging issue

On my commute to Corvallis, I began to listen to my brother-from-another-mother...the favored son...a teacher named Rob Bell. He was talking about the issue of judging and what it is all about. One of the things that he really nailed down is that when you judge others, you are setting yourself up...above them. And in that way - it is really about control.

And the truth of that struck me. Judging others motives, actions, words, whatever...is really about control. Trying to get them to do something, be some way that fits your paradigm for their life.

As I drove, I thought about the issue of how often people try to control others and how they do it. Sometimes it is through physical force. Sometimes it is through mental and emotional manipulation - most DV situations are not physical force but emotional and psychological abuse and control - and sometimes it is through spiritual manipulation. This spiritual manipulation, like the others, often comes out in the form of judgmentalism. It is a control mechanism people use to make themselves look better, to set themselves up, to get people to respond and do what they want. It really isn't about looking out for someone. It is, plain and simply, about control.

One of the things this guy named Jesus said once was, "Do not judge or you will be judged." While there may well be a cosmic type of greater judgment implied, there is also something more basic. It's the closest Jesus gets to Karma. If you are a judgmental person, then people are going to make judgments on you. You place yourself in the role of God and judge people's actions, motives, heart...you will be a lonely person because people will make the judgment call that they simply don't want to be around you.

What Jesus is saying is that when you set yourself up over others, you are setting yourself up for a fall. You will be miserable. People won't want to be with you. People will want to stay away because you have set yourself up…to set yourself up.

So...do you want to be someone who people feel comfortable around...or someone people avoid because you are trying to control them. What is the best way? You be the judge.