back to the judging issue

On my commute to Corvallis, I began to listen to my brother-from-another-mother...the favored son...a teacher named Rob Bell. He was talking about the issue of judging and what it is all about. One of the things that he really nailed down is that when you judge others, you are setting yourself up...above them. And in that way - it is really about control.

And the truth of that struck me. Judging others motives, actions, words, whatever...is really about control. Trying to get them to do something, be some way that fits your paradigm for their life.

As I drove, I thought about the issue of how often people try to control others and how they do it. Sometimes it is through physical force. Sometimes it is through mental and emotional manipulation - most DV situations are not physical force but emotional and psychological abuse and control - and sometimes it is through spiritual manipulation. This spiritual manipulation, like the others, often comes out in the form of judgmentalism. It is a control mechanism people use to make themselves look better, to set themselves up, to get people to respond and do what they want. It really isn't about looking out for someone. It is, plain and simply, about control.

One of the things this guy named Jesus said once was, "Do not judge or you will be judged." While there may well be a cosmic type of greater judgment implied, there is also something more basic. It's the closest Jesus gets to Karma. If you are a judgmental person, then people are going to make judgments on you. You place yourself in the role of God and judge people's actions, motives, heart...you will be a lonely person because people will make the judgment call that they simply don't want to be around you.

What Jesus is saying is that when you set yourself up over others, you are setting yourself up for a fall. You will be miserable. People won't want to be with you. People will want to stay away because you have set yourself up…to set yourself up.

So...do you want to be someone who people feel comfortable around...or someone people avoid because you are trying to control them. What is the best way? You be the judge.

a matter of perspective

I was awoken last night by a phone call. But before I expound on that event, let me vent a little.

I am tired of being judged.

I am tired of people who think they know more than I do simply because they have a Sunday School education in the Bible. I've got a freaking Masters degree in Biblical Studies and Pastoral Ministry and can read from both the Greek and the Hebrew. Doesn't mean I'm right. Just sayin'.

I'm tired of people judging the motives behind my words...my actions. You don't know what I'm thinking, you don't know what I'm feeling. No one besides me knows what's going on in this head of mine (and sometimes I'm not sure)...but don't judge me as if you know my motives.

I'm tired of people not acting like grownups. "Have a freakin' clue that the world doesn't revolve around you!" That's what I want to say. "Get over things already, move on already." That's what I want to say. Just sayin'.

I'm tired of double standards...whether in the church or in relationships. You want me to treat you that way? Then treat me that way. That's how it should go. You want me to listen, respect, forgive, whatever? Then do the same or don't take up my space. Just sayin'.

I'm tired of really bad bands at the bars. Someone who loves them...love them by being honest. Leave the singing to those of us who can actually...I don't know...sing!

So I was awoken last night by a phone call. A good friend of mine, her dad passed away. I went out to the home to be with the family. It was obvious how much love was shared among that family. And while I still tire of all those other things... they don't ultimately matter that much when compared to real issues of life or death. In fact, calls like the one i took ought to help us all re-prioritize what is really important. For I can't think of anything more important than this simple truth. Love God. Love others.

attack of the drive-by fundamentalist

So...tearing everything down this afternoon, thinking that the ghost of Christian past was now a thing of my past, when up on the roof there arose such a clatter...I wondered to myself "Oh crap...whatsa matta!" Then what did my wondering eye gaze upon? But a tall ghostly man with a frown once upon.

He came up to me with a glint in his eye, his breath smelled like sulphur...well okay...apple pie. He spoke of his desire to correct my theology, and I thought to myself..."Oh man, I gotsta pee." I read his wordy note and I thought to myself, he truly, really, honestly believes I might be going to hell. His words were confused, his grammar atrocious, his attitude much like those who are bragadocious. His context confused, his motives unclear, I wondered aloud "Where can I find a beer."

Then out of my mind a thought as a mist, "Oh crap, I've been attacked...by a driveby fundamentalist!"

Two questions:

1) Does anyone stand behind their products anymore?
2) Have you ever wanted to interactively shove a phone up a giant companies broad backside so deep that they have to floss to get it from being lodged between their teeth?

A little of the back story would help I suppose. I have maintained a long-standing relationship (in which I have spent thousands of dollars) with a cell phone company that rhymes with "horizon..." "Yourizon??" "Myrizon??" Well, if you still don't get it you are simply dense...but back to the story.

Said company replaced my defective phone this past week with...hold your breath now...a defective phone. Brilliant marketing philosophy isn't it. As I talked with their representative (firmly but politely I might add as he is simply a minimum wage employee following the dumba$$ policies of said company)...he informed me that I was going to have to pay the $50 replacement. Get this...pay the $50 fee to replace the defective phone they supplied me to replace the defective phone they had previously given me. Ingenious marketing scheme.

At one point, he even told me, "Well, technically it isn't our phone, it is LG's." To which I reminded him that they have their name on it, use LG as their subcontractor, and market it...thus it is your problem."

So...what has become of this? Absolutely nothing. Thus the need to vent.

I am thinking about sending in payment for my bill...in pennies. And then telling them that the debit card I usually pay for was defective, but that for $50 from them, I will restore its effectiveness.

a visit from the ghost of christian past

I was enjoying a nice little slumber on a warm spring-like day...when all of a sudden there appeared a scary apparition. Dressed like bad memories of my childhood climbing under the pews of the community church, one appeared to me wanting to talk about life and faith and all things in between.

I realized quite quickly, however, there wasn't a lot of talking that this ghost of christian past wanted to do, as talking connotes a back and forth dialogue. No, this "holy" specter didn't really want a discussion but more of a monologue. Thus he began to talk...and talk...and talk. As he continued on, my mind began to fog over as verses flew in and out of his speech. As I would try to drop comments into the "conversation," I quickly realized that nothing I said was being heard as instead of listening, this apparitions mind was formulating it's next movement, it's next thought...sure to be peppered with scriptural reference (with no care for context...but alas...that is the old-school christian way) and "churchy" words.

I desperately wanted to escape this bad dream...for I knew that nothing would come of it. My heart and my mind cried out, "Away from me - thou dreaded spirit. Begone and return no more for I fear what you bring." Soon - though not soon enough - I bid this unholy specter a fond farewell - and made my way out of what had once been a potentially nice dream, but that had turned into a nightmare of epic proportions as this ghost from christian past invaded my senses.

And then...suddenly...he was gone. Will he return? I have my doubts. And I have my hopes that he won't...for the ghost of christian past is a very scary thing indeed.

forgiveness

I had asked a brief question about whether we really have to ask God for forgiveness anymore. Obviously, as i have gone through the teaching series that we are currently in, I do not believe that those who have been forgiven have to continuously go back for "more" forgiveness. Either his blood atoned for it...or it didn't.

So...maybe the question is more one of why we believe that we do. I believe that it is for many reasons:

* we like to control things...including our spiritualgrowthrelationshipwithgodthing.
* we feel like we have to "do" something.
* we have been infested with Catholic teaching that is so unbiblical it's not even remotely funny...esp. considering how many people fall for it.

Oh...I'm sure there are so many more reasons...but I need to head for home so may finish this later...or not...we'll see